This here is my collection of Randy's February Gems. Enjoy...
On our walk to the park today Randy got really quiet. I asked him what he was thinking about.
"Well. I was thinkin' bout... It would only be a really good present to give your mommy a ball of poop if you and your mommy were dung beetles."
Now that is a true statement.
________________________________
Cripes! Why did I explain the concept of speed limits to this child?! "Yes. I am going the speed limit." "Yes. I saw the speed limit sign that said four zero. I'm going forty. I promise." "Yes. I know it sounded like I revved the engine. No. I'm not speeding."
Seriously Man!!
________________________________
After judgily staring at his baby brother mid-screechfest he sighed and calmly said,"Sir. You're gonna need to reign it in about six notches."
My job here is done.
________________________________
Over the course of a few days amidst some serious pretend play Randy kept telling me we were going somewhere that sounded to me like "North Iraq". After pondering and then marveling at the geographical genius of my three year old (not to mention patting myself on the back for being such an amazing mother... I mean come on!) for DAYS I finally thought to ask him what we were going to do there. He said, "um. We could buy some new shirts or something." Oh. I see. Nordstrom Rack.
<mamafacepalm>
________________________________
[Randy asked me what we were doing one day and I told him it was a surprise..]
Randy: Is it the car wash?
Me: Better.
Randy: BETTER THAN THE CAR WASH?!?!?!
He is a man of simple tastes.
________________________________
Me: Randy. They color of the week is brown. I don't think you have any brown shirts to wear to school. Any ideas?
Randy: I could cover a shirt with chocolate and wear it.... And then I can lick it when I get hungry for chocolate.
Me: You don't think that would be kinda weird? Licking your shirt all day at school?
Randy: No. It would be delicious.
Well. Yes.
________________________________
"I'm gonna get you a Princess Leia angry bird for Valentine's Day Mama 'cause Princess Leia is almost as pretty as you."
The Boy's got skills.
________________________________
Mama. It's sad you always gotta clean so much all the time. Who's making this big crazy mess?! They should cut it out.
Word, Bro.
________________________________
